Why I Write What I Write (On This Blog)
Can you believe that we are already half way through January? Crazy, huh? I hope this blog finds you well and having a fantastic start to the year. If not, that's okay, too; we all have ups and downs in life. For this post, I would like to share with you why I write what I write on this blog (hence, the title of this post). This blog isn't about me getting a pat on my back for my fantastic writing style, though some compliments are always good and welcome, for they encourage me to keep writing posts. The thing about this blog is about keeping it real, about being flawed, about sharing the colours of struggles while discovering what it really means to 'live'. Although we would like to think that life flows like a gentle and peaceful river, life isn't always like that - sometimes, it's a rapid - rocky and filled with obstacles. Our boats get smashed or dismantled along the way. At times, there is no shore to climb onto, and we are paddling in water, trying not to sink too soon. I write not to dismiss these troubles, for we do encounter them every now and then, but to face them with courage and faith.
The thing is we are all on the journey. From afar, it looks bright. Then the closer we get, we realise that it is clouded and the space for breathing is minute. We may not understand everything that is happening around us, but there is still this certain hope that we can have. It cannot be easily described, yet it is there. It is so real that we cannot ignore it. Though it may seem abstract to many others, we know it as solid as the chair we sit on and as firm as the ground we stand on. And no matter what decides to unfold in our lives, we don't turn and run away; we face it with full faith knowing that we have God whether things turn out good or not. We know at the end of the day we have this eternal life ahead of us. All the uncertainties that fill our lives are nothing but temporary moments that will soon fade with the Earth into dust.
During the middle of last year, I finally read the book a good friend of mine (and a professor at seminary) had recommended me to read. It is called Silence by Shusaku Endo. (If you haven't read it, then I definitely recommend it.) I had avoided reading it for a long time (3 years and a bit to be precise) because I was struggling, people I care about were hurting and I didn't want to see more pain when I couldn't fix any of that. On top of that, I just don't see how reading something as painful as bearing the silence of God could be of any benefit to me. One day, however, I decided that I was just going to read it. And I found it to be one of the most beautifully written books I have come across. Each sentences painted vivid images of what went on with Christian persecution in 1600 Japan. It was tormenting yet comforting - such weird combination, isn't it? But it is so real. And reading it humbled me; it helped me realise that I cannot understand everything even if I wanted to (and it is so exhausting if I try). I can only stay in the state of surrender and do nothing more. It is hopeless, helpless - completely vulnerable. But it is good, because it is only then we truly understand why we believe what we believe and truly experience a new level of faith that is above all the decorations of life. Very often, people have the image that being Christian is meant to be an easy task. If you have God on your side, then nothing can go wrong (or be against you). That's just isn't true a lot of times. This is a broken world after all. Martin Luther once said that it is only through trials and tribulations that we really come to experience faith - without those, we can never talk about faith in the real manner. When you fall in love with Christ, you fall in love. Nothing will change your idea about it - it doesn't matter if something terrible or unbearable is happening, you wouldn't let it go. This is why I write what I write. I hope that whatever you are facing, good or bad, that you'll look to Him. And as for this blog, I pray that I may write poems or proses that encourage and comfort you along the way.
May peace and blessings be with you.
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