When the storm continues...

One after another, the waves hit against the sides of the boat.
The dizziness, the confusion, the directionless state.
She desperately wants a way out of it,
But wherever she goes, it follows.
The dark clouds gather above her head constantly. 
The flooding water, the moments of breathlessness.
It won't be long before the raging ocean will engulf her. 
She holds onto the side, gasping for air and praying for a miracle.
Please let there be sun, please make the storm go away.
Such simple words play no difference.

The boat continues to rock, as the rain pours.
'There's always rainbow after rain,' she mutters to herself. 
She just needs to hold on a little longer.
Yet, her moisten hands are slipping,
She can't keep her grips.
Lightning strikes, thunder rolls,
Who is she kidding? 
There is no way out of this.
It is against logic, defies judgement.

How did she end up here? Why did she take this boat?
She listened to advices, she followed her call, she had faith.
But she somehow is here. 
She could cry, but it changes nothing.
She could shout for help, but who can hear in this storm,
Even the heaven have turned away.
She lies down and lets the water pour in from the sides. 

Memories of why she took this journey flash across her mind.
If there were no mistake along the journey,
then why this?
She sought after the wise,
She did what was considered right.
Never have she considered to gain a status,
She has been good. 
Perhaps, the world is right; 
this is all nonsense, silliness. 

Wait!
She pauses.
Why is she letting her situation dictate the way she lives?
Why is she acting so pathetic?
Yes, she knows she is weak,
She has known this since the beginning.
But there is no excuse to fall away.
There is so much more ahead.
She picks the paddle and pushes against the waves.
She can do this...
She can.
She must.
She has.
                                                                                    
                                                                                              --- Lisa T. Kuo

*************************************

Life can be so draining at times, making us feel as if we were running a marathon of faith. Sometimes, it gets to a point where giving up is a much better option than anything else. In those moments, it is the best time to reflect why you have chosen to have faith in the first place. For me, I usually go back to the day I fell in love with Christ and remind myself of how and why I chose a different path of life to everyone else. There is no doubt that our situations can cloud our senses - even the foundations, the common phrases, the encouraging words can do nothing to change the pain and frustration we feel. It is okay and normal to feel that way. However, we must not dwell in that state. We need to decide to allow God to define our lives, not our situations. He is our identity. We must not let ourselves be 'failures' because a dream did not come to pass or a prayer not answered, because something did not go according to our plan. We must remember who we are in Christ - we are the children of God. Having said that, during storms it is extremely difficult to even come to this decisive point. Hence, it is important to have people who can come alongside us and share our burdens with us. (Obviously, don't tell the whole world about your struggles - choose the people you can confide in wisely.)

And this time, I will end this post with: God is good. I'm not saying it as some empty words people use to comfort the broken. No. I say this because I have experienced His goodness, His love, and I cannot let my frustrations speak louder than that.

Peace be with you.

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